Why Willpower Isn’t the Fix We Think It Is


Hi Reader,

We’re often told that change comes down to willpower. Try harder. Push through. Be stronger.

But here’s a more recovery-friendly truth: most people don’t need more willpower — they need more capacity.

Capacity is your mental, emotional, and physical fuel. When it’s low, everything feels harder. Cravings get louder. Stress feels heavier. Small problems feel overwhelming.

Willpower tries to override that. Capacity works with your nervous system.

A few simple ways to build capacity:

  • Get rest that actually restores you
  • Eat regularly to steady your mood
  • Take short breaks before you’re exhausted
  • Ask for help sooner, not later

Recovery isn’t about white-knuckling life. It’s about creating enough support so healthier choices feel possible.

When you build capacity, change doesn’t require a fight.

That’s not weakness — that’s wisdom.

All the best,

Duane


Men's Shame to Resilience Workshop

Healing your relationship after intimate betrayal is the most challenging path you can take, and shame is the underlying issue. If you want to heal your relationships, you must understand shame.


The Addicted Mind Podcast

"The Addicted Mind Podcast" offers hope, understanding, and guidance for those dealing with addiction, with real stories and research to inspire and show the journey to recovery is worth it.

Read more from The Addicted Mind Podcast

Hi Reader, This week on The Addicted Mind, I’m sharing a conversation that’s hard—but really important. I sat down with filmmaker Benjamin Flaherty to talk about his documentary Shuffle, which exposes what’s known as the “Florida Shuffle.” It’s a predatory cycle in the addiction treatment world where vulnerable people are moved between facilities—not for healing, but for insurance money. Benjamin is also in recovery, and that lived experience gave him rare access to stories most people never...

Hi Reader, Have you ever noticed how easy it is to fall into thinking like, “I’m either crushing it or I’ve completely failed”? If that sounds familiar, this week’s episode is for you. On the latest episode of The Addicted Mind, Eric and I dig into black-and-white thinking—and how it can quietly mess with your emotions and your recovery. We talk about why this mindset shows up so often, and how learning to think in shades of gray can make things feel more steady and manageable. We also share...

Hi Reader, Here’s a mental health reminder that can save you a lot of unnecessary suffering: Feelings are weather — not facts. Some days feel sunny. Others feel stormy. Emotional weather can change fast. Anxiety rolls in. Cravings spike. Old thoughts show up and start telling scary stories. The mistake we often make is assuming, “If I feel this way, it must be true.” But feelings are temporary signals, not permanent truths. A helpful question during hard moments is:Is this how things are… or...